Locked Up
by Ceillean
Summary: Self explanatory, really. Han and Leia are locked up. By whom you wonder? The wicked twin brother of course.


It took Leia only a few seconds to come up with at least a dozen more enjoyable things to do, than be stuck in a cell with Han Solo. Caged up like an animal for who knew how long, she had begun pacing the length of the grey cube, trying her best not to think of her current predicament.

As usual, everything had been Han's fault. Someone needed to put a leash on that man's mouth and fast.

Or else _she_ would kill him.

"You really need to freshen up on etiquette." She whispered, shaking her head. Feet sore from walking from one end to the other, she grimaced into the dimly lit area, dark eyes flashing with annoyance. "We could have already been home by now."

Han groaned while he lay on the single cot with his arm draped over his face. The cot was basically a simple slab of cold grey rock with a thin sheet to use as a mattress and a filthy piece of fabric that could barely be recognized as a blanket.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." Han said, even though he didn't mean a single word of the apology. "Next time someone degrades me by insulting me and my friends, including my entire family line, I'll just smile and nod my head and be the nicest guy around. That good enough for you?"

"You could have chosen different words, you know. Most people don't take kindly to being called a sithing, karking son-of-a-gundark."

"_He_ started it."

"And you just had to end it." Leia sighed, rubbing tired eyes with the back of her hands.

Han sat up abruptly, booted feet slapping onto the cold ground. "Damned straight I had to end it. You should know by now that I don't hold back when some goody-two-shoes comes walking around the corner looking for a fight. I'll give him that fight."

"You need to grow up, Han."

Han grinned boyishly. "Now where's the fun in that?" He shrugged nonchalantly. "Anyway, if I started acting my age, not only would it be boring, people would start having strange opinions of me, you know? All nice and forthcoming and just an overall perfect guy." He made a sound of disgust.

Leia turned towards him, her anger piqued. "No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have, and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!" Her voice rose with each word.

Han, stunned, sat back against the cold wall with wide brown eyes. He cocked his head to the side, his mouth working as he tried to find words to make up a comeback. Only, he wasn't used to Leia's angry outbursts quite yet. "Sweetheart –"

"Don't you _sweetheart_ me!" She yelled, wagging a finger at him. It was a very Han Solo-esque gesture, which made him crack a smile. It wasn't the smartest thing to do, given the circumstances. In retrospect, he realized he had nowhere to run so upsetting Leia further was not a very good idea.

Even though she was small and fragile looking, at times she scared the crap out of him.

"They locked us up because of your big mouth."

"I was only trying to def –"

"Then you go and threaten him!"

Han frowned. "I didn't –"

"Oh, and saying _'You'll be sorry'_ isn't a threat?"

"Well, I didn't mean it like that. Come on sweetheart –"

"Shut up!" Her voice rose to a squeak that hurt his ears. "Just shut up. Sit there, don't move and be quiet."

"But Leia –"

"Shut up!"

"This isn't my fault!" Han got up and pointed a finger at her. "You could have –"

"What Han? _What_? I wasn't even there until the two of you started fighting!"

"We weren't fighting." Han said sheepishly. "It was a manly disagreement."

Leia arched a dark brow. "A manly disagreement?" She echoed, shaking her head in disbelief. "You're unbelievable, Han!"

She started pacing the length of the cell yet again, cursing and mumbling under her breath. Very unlike Leia, Han thought with a shake of his head. It was almost comical up until the moment she whirled around on him and pointed a finger straight at his chest.

"And now." She said inclining her head. "You're going to straighten this out."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. You're going to apologize."

"The hell I am!" He roared suddenly, knowing that if he gave in, his ego would be non-existent.

"If you don't, it'll be the couch for at least two months."

Han huffed out a breath and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I can do two months."

But then Leia's all too familiar evil smile returned. "You sure about that?" She came closer and reached up to place her hand on his stubbled cheek. Then she leaned forward, the corners of her mouth quirked up into a grin, while she whispered words that made Han gasp.

Treacherous words that would make any man demand what the female partner wanted.

He had no choice but to give in!

But he could argue the point. "That's evil, Leia and you know it."

"Well, the couch doesn't entail _me_ in _any_ way. So what's it going to be? Nice comfortable bed with tender, loving care or the couch by your lonesome self?"

Han sighed.

Good-bye ego.

***

Two doors further down the hallway, Luke Skywalker and Lando Calrissian were having the time of their lives. With their booted feet perched atop the console, they watched as Han and Leia argued. The two love birds had no idea they were being recorded and they definitely had no idea that Luke and Lando were, quite frankly, laughing their asses off.

"If Leia knew about this –" Lando said, in between wiping tears from his eyes.

"She'd gut us." Luke finished the sentence.

"Indeed, great idea locking them up, Luke."

The young Jedi Knight shrugged. "Call it Force input."

And so they sat another hour, watching Leia and Han fight, watching Han fidget because he just _had_ to apologize or else it would mean two months of being celibate.

And yet Luke knew that someday, Leia would want her revenge, and so would Han. Luke just hoped he'd be far far away when they came looking for him.


End file.
